The Evolution of Lucy

Planet of the Apes

     During one late afternoon, after classes, Dr. Wisenheirmer prepared a brief laptop presentation to be viewed by Dr. Wishbone. It had to do with the previous discovery of a fossil that was alleged to have been the missing link. During that time evolutionary scientist had collaborated and named the fossil “Lucy,” because of it’s female characteristics.

     After entering Wishbone’s classroom with his laptop, Wisenheirmer proceeded to interrupt Wishbone during his studies. “Good evening professor. I was curious as to your findings about Lucy as was discovered by paleontologist Dr. Donald Johanson on November 30, 1974, in Hadar, Ethiopia,” asked professor Wisenheirmer. “I have here a few images relative to the find here on my laptop. Of course, some of them were developed from my own speculations.”


     Wishbone: “Yes professor. What’s the point? I know the outcome of the research done over those years. Some scientist maintain it is a hoax. So what do you want from me?”

     Wisenheirmer: “I brought it up, because of the latest film, Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes. The trailer shown here is from the earlier film Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. Note the advertised statements: Evolution, Becomes, Revolution. This is followed by a clip from the original film that shows Dr. Zira—the female brain. I just thought this to be ironical. Maybe she should have been named Lucy.”

female ape

planet of apes

     Wishbone: “Again Professor Wisenheirmer, what do you want from me? I take exception to all this harassment. You’re rattling my cage.”

     Wisenheirmer: “After giving it some additional thought, you’re right. I am being to much of an ass. You don’t deserve me to jack you around any further.” In the meantime, Wisenheirmer began to contemplate under his breath: ‘How can I win this man over to a biblical worldview while treating him like this? Shame on me.‘ “I’m sorry professor. I don’t know what got into me. Please accept my apologies.”

     Wishbone: “You don’t need to beat a dead horse. I know the errors in my analysis. I feel like a fool. So let me be, and I accept your apologies. Now I’ve been researching something that I know will turn the tables.”

     Afterwards, Wisenheirmer felt some relief, since he sensed Wishbone was still in a somewhat forgiving and competitive mood. So, he immediately left the room while the gettin’ was good.


Einstein-Rosen Bridge

Worm Holes

     During one of Wisenheirmer’s classes, he open up for questions regarding theoretical wormholes. It followed the lecture given by Dr. Chad Chandler, notable Cosmologist from MIT, on Black Holes.

     Professor Wisenheirmer began by asking, “How many of you here believe Wormholes are possible?” Seventeen out of the class of twenty-five raised their hands.

     “Not to embarrass any of you who did not respond, “What are your objections to this hypothesis?”

     An undergraduate freshmen stood and said, “I don’t believe in them because there seems to be no reliable scientific proof that they exist. Not to be contentious, but I believe it is nothing more than scientific conjecture. Pure science fiction, if you will.”

     “What you say is well founded,” responded the professor. “There are many things in this Universe that we still don’t completely comprehend as of yet. Take for instance, near death experiences and/or out of body experiences. According to a Gallup poll, approximately eight million Americans claim to have had a near-death experience. Plus it is estimated that there are many more who’ve never come forward for fear of ridicule. I’m sure most of you, if not all of you, have heard tales of folks traveling through a tunnel where a white light appears at the end. The following slide is being displayed in anticipation of your concern.”


     “Although not absolutely verifiable according to traditional scientific methods, there are many scientist, including myself, that lean toward the Wormhole hypothesis. In fact, there is the hypothetical topological Einstein-Rosen bridge, a feature of spacetime that would fundamentally be a “shortcut” through spacetime. It was hypothesized by Albert Einstein and his colleague Nathan Rosen, who first published the result in 1935. The following animation shows an artist conception taken from survivors of near deaf experiences.


     “It is my contention,” Wisenheirmer continued, “these are Wormholes that connect to the eternal realm. That is, completely outside this Universe, but into the third heaven. In turn some have testified about going to hell through similar experiences. In many instance there are cases of meeting with deceased relatives, angelic beings, Jesus, and so forth. Most of the time they are told to return, because their time is not up yet.

     Just then, a seasoned sophomore raised up and asserted, “I still don’t see how all this is possible. Won’t anything going into the Singularity of the Wormhole be crushed by extreme gravitational forces?”

     “Anything, yes,” responded the professor, “However, we are referring to spirits here. Spirits in their travel through a hole are not affected by gravitational pulls, nor matter, nor electromagnetic forces. Distances through space, and the time it takes to travel those distances are instantaneous relative to our time. It’s all relative, as Einstein would say.”



     “So here they are: those two chalk talk fanatics, Albert Einstein and his colleague Nathan Rosen. Two God gifted Jews.

     “This is another subject to chew on. Think it through and form your own decision, but during your analysis try to formulate your theories based on as much scientific fact as possible. Maybe you will one day discover a scientific breakthrough as these two heavy weights. There is still a great deal more to uncover about our Universe and beyond. We’ll delve into more of these mysterious topics in upcoming classes.”

The Event Horizon

Black Holes

     It was a sunny afternoon when a colleague of Wisestein, arrived from MIT to give a lecture on Black Holes. The professor named Dr. Chad Chandler, possessed a doctorate in Cosmology. Most of the faculty was present, including Wisenheirmer and Wishbone. He began the lecture with slides showing artist depictions of Black Holes.

event horizon

     Chandler: “The following slide depicts a view of the entrance to a Black Hole. The Event Horizon is the outer ring to the Black Hole. This is where gasses, matter, light and energy begin their journey to being sucked into the hole. The Singularity is the corridor where everything entering will narrow down to a theoretical Wormhole. Some of you may ask, ‘Where does it all finally go?’ Well, on the other end there is a theoretical White Hole, where nothing can enter it’s Event Horizon—only exit from it. Both being connected by a Wormhole as shown on the following slide.”

worm hole diagrahm

     Chandler continued: “Once objects fall through the event horizon, they’re lost forever.” According to Shep Doeleman, assistant director of the MIT Haystack Observatory and research associate at the Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory. “It’s an exit door from our universe. You walk through that door, you’re not coming back.”

space craft wormhole 2

     Chandler continued: “Next we have an animated science fiction depiction of a space craft exiting a journey through a Wormhole. It’s fictional, because the gravitational pull into the hole becomes so extreme that it overwhelms all other forces in the Universe—even light. Thus, any space craft will be obliterated.”

worm hole

     Chandler concluded: “This last artist depiction shows the entrance and exit of a Wormhole. Please note how theoretically, the exit point is located at some other region in the Universe, or into another Universe altogether. Some scientist even speculate that it could be a portal into eternity—completely outside of our known Universe.”

     At this point, Professor Wisenheirmer interjected and said, “Scientists no longer scoff at the concept of ‘eternity’ as used by the Bible writers and the poets because they themselves have located it! It is the scriptural term ‘the third heaven, the heaven of heavens, and the highest heaven.’ It exist beyond space and the stars, where no man has seen by telescope. This heaven is the dwelling-place of God, holy angels, and the spirits of men.”

     Just then, Professor Wishbone interjected, “Then one could conclude that the bottomless pit, held for Satan and demons as written in Revelation, is also a Black Hole.”

     “Well put professor,” Wisenheirmer acknowledged. “I see you’ve been delving into Holy writ. In any case, all of us here should seriously give this some thought. These Black Holes are portals to somewhere, but where?”

     At that time Professor Wisestien stepped in and said, “Before we open up for questions, let’s give a hand to professor Chandler.” After clapping and cheers, the session continued with an onslaught of questions from mostly undergraduate students.”

Expanding Balloon Concept

Universe Expansion

     During one of Professor Wisenheirmer classes, he lectured on the expansion of the Universe. In attendance was a mix of students that adhere to creationism, evolution and the undecided. Professor Wisestien and a few research assistants were also present. To kickoff the presentation he showed a couple of slides as follows:

test caption

Expanding distance between galaxies

test caption

Universe expansion animation

     Wisenheirmer: “Scientific research has shown that the Universe is constantly expanding, and the vast majority of galaxies are receding away from us. This was concluded by observing the redshift wavelength emitted from these heavenly bodies by the Hubble telescope. Everyone here should be familiar with the Doppler effect. That is, light emitted from a body that is moving away from a stationary body will appear as a redshift; while light emitted from a body that is moving toward a stationary body will appear as a blueshift. This, expansion theory of course, is what led to the Big Bang model—the very beginning of the expansion.”

     Wisenheirmer continued: “Please also note that the second slide states the galaxies remain the same size. Which is fortunate for us. Can any of you students tell me why?”

     After a few seconds a student on the second row raised his hand.

     Wisenheirmer asked him to stand and state his name.

     The student, named Dan answered, “I read about this somewhere about a year ago. The observation was, if the individual galaxies expanded—like our Milky Way, then our Solar System would also expand. This would increase the distance between our planets. And furthermore, it would increase our distance from the Sun.”

     “Well put, Dan,” Wisenheirmer responded. “For sure, we wouldn’t have to worry about Global Warming—even the hoax that it is. We’d have to worry about Global Cooling.”

balloon girl

     After some grins and mumbling from the attendees, Wisenheirmer interjected a creationist theory about the awesomeness of God. “What if we assume this girl in the slide is God, causing the Universe to expand by blowing into a balloon as such. Again, this is my presupposition, so bear with me. Then think about the mind-blowing massiveness of God. Well I maintain, He’s much, much bigger than that. It is far out, isn’t it? Excuse the pun.”

     Some of the students just sat and stared with blank faces in wonderment. This was the objective Wisenheirmer wanted. He terminated by asking them to think and analyze for themselves, before dismissing them.

     At that instant Professor Wisestien interrupted and asked the students to also contemplate the following: “The resulting images from Hubble offer the deepest ever view of the Universe. As Wisenheirmer already explained, the telescope captures redshifted infrared wavelengths from light of early galaxies. Because light takes so long to travel from these remote objects, astronomers are looking back in time, seeing these galaxies as they appeared 600 million years ago. If you accept the Big Bang theory, calculations reveal the Universe is now 13.7 billion years old. Now that should give you more food for thought. Now you may go.”

Experiment Gone Haywire

Global Warming Hoax

     Every Friday afternoon, all three professors—Wishbone, Wisestien and Wisenheirmer—have lunch together at one of the local restaurants in Silicon Valley. On some occasions they may invite a few research assistants and associates. At these informal luncheons they will strive to maintain neutrality by putting their differences aside.

     During one recent gathering, Professor Wisestien introduced a FOX News article that he displayed on his laptop. The news story from December 30, 2013 read, “‘Stuck in our own experiment’: Leader of trapped team insists polar ice is melting” Wisestien’s main objective was to probe the others for their take on the controversial subject of Global Warming. Below is the photo and caption from the article:

Dec. 27, 2013: In this image provided by Australasian Antarctic Expedition/Footloose Fotography the Russian ship MV Akademik Shokalskiy is trapped in thick Antarctic ice 1,500 nautical miles south of Hobart, Australia.AP

Dec. 27, 2013: In this image provided by Australasian Antarctic Expedition/Footloose Fotography the Russian ship MV Akademik Shokalskiy is trapped in thick Antarctic ice 1,500 nautical miles south of Hobart, Australia.AP

     To Wisestien’s surprise, they all agreed that all the hype about Global Warming was nothing more than a political hoax meant to hoodwink the American public. He stated, “Those fake scientist went down under to prove Global warming to be a fact. Weren’t they in for a big surprise? They would have done better to look for Santa up in the Arctic.”

     Wishbone: “Yeah I heard they sent several ice breakers down there to lead ’em out. Then, they also got stuck.”

     Wisenheirmer: “Well, they spent Christmas and New Year’s Eve hunkered down in zero below weather. I betcha they still maintain their Global Warming hypothesis. The jerks.”

     Johnny, a research associate interjected, “I heard they and other adherents modified their hypothesis to Climate Change. Now ain’t that clever?”

     Wishbone: “Why not? It provides them a way out; because Climate Change is all inclusive. It covers the whole gambit. The knuckle heads insist that global climate change is actually much more complicated because a change in the temperature can cause changes in other weather elements such as clouds or precipitation. Thus, their song and dance for being hemmed up down in the Antarctic.”

     Wisestien: “I’d say we all agree that this is an example of sloppy science. It’s an embarrassment to all of us here, and all genuine scientist in the field of climatology and associated disciplines, such as meteorology. Obviously, our objective at the Berean Institute is to teach legit science and expose bogus research outcomes, such as this.”

     Before the luncheon was dismissed, Wisestien displayed the following animation on his laptop, showing monthly global images from the NASA Earth Observatory of the Northern Hemisphere. He stated, “This is all there is to climate change—the normal yearly cycle that has existed for ages.”

climate change

     One more thing professor Wisenheirmer asserted, “The effect of carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions by man on heating the earth, has no more effect than a gnat on an elephant’s butt.”

A Fraternity Prank

Extra-Terrestrial Terrorist

     Prior to every fall semester, a few pledging freshmen recruited by fraternities from San Jose State University, go through additional initiation on the Berean campus. After undergoing formal recruitment, frat brothers will submit them to a variety of mental pranks having scientific significance. An example is the website page shown below.

LCH story 3

     Every fall, naive pledges have been subjected to this prank. The usual reply from the typical pledge is, “Why haven’t I heard about this until now? When did this happen? Where is Cole now? Has he been deported yet? Or how would they deport him back?”

     “You dork. Where have you been?” is the usual reply from a brother. “How do you expect to make it in this school if you don’t keep up with current events? This happened a few years ago already. Check out the date on the article numb-nut.”

     The pledge would then note the date of April 1, 2010, and still not realize the significance. “Look at it again airhead,” would be the frat brothers response.

     In most instances there would be several exchanges in dialogue before the pledge would catch on. “Oh! Now I get it. It was April fools day.”

     “Well, whoop-de-doo! What we have here is a Silicon Valley nerd amongst us.”

     Frat brothers have been known to reject freshmen pledges that took too long guessing. Saying things like, “What a typical knuckle dragger. Don’t he know man has evolved.” On the other hand, they would be tickled to recommend them to some rival SJSU fraternity.

Another Monkey Debate

The Devil in Dover

     It was another sunny morning, and time for another monkey debate. This time the focus was the Dover Monkey Trial, held in Dover, Pennsylvania, in 2005. Professor Wishbone called the assembly at 10 a.m., in order to get a one-up on Professor Wisenheirmer and the creationist crowd. However, Wisenheirmer was late returning from lecturing at San Jose State.

     Wishbone decided to kick off the debate anyway by quoting from renowned Intelligent Design biochemist Michael Behe’s and his principle of “Irreducible Complexity.” To emphasize Behe’s point, he projected a slide of a mouse on an impossible mission. Needless to say, this caused the whole audience to crack-up—students and faculty.


     “Behe used the mousetrap as an illustrative example of this concept. He explained that a mousetrap consists of several interacting pieces—the base, the catch, the spring, the hammer. He emphasized that all of these must be in place for the mousetrap to work, and that the removal of any one piece destroys the function of the mousetrap.”

     “Likewise,” he continued, “biological systems require multiple parts working together in order to function. Intelligent design advocates claim that natural selection could not create from scratch those systems for which science is currently unable to find a viable evolutionary pathway of successive, slight modifications, because the selectable function is only present when all parts are assembled.”

     “To break it down in laymen’s terms” Wishbone summarizes, “According to Behe, these complex and intricate biological systems must be the result of intelligent design. This is a hypothesis I adamantly refute.”

The Bacterial Flagellum (high-definition animation)

     Since Professor Wisenheirmer had not returned from San Jose State yet, Wishbone continued: “Another argument Behe introduced was the irreducibly complex mechanisms included in the bacterial flagellum of E. coli, as shown in this high-definition animation. The next two slides shown are a model replica, and a detailed assembly diagram.”

Flagellum rotor                    Diagram of flagellum rotor

     Wishbone continued: “I will proceed to describe this amazing complexity that exists at the molecular level. Bacterial flagella are helical filaments, each with a rotary motor at its base which can turn clockwise or counterclockwise in an instance. They provide two of several kinds of bacterial motility. . . . ”

     As Wishbone continued to break down the subject matter for the attentive audience, Wisenheirmer—the creationist—had quietly entered the auditorium.

     Noticing his entrance, Wishbone proceeded to summarize the results of the Dover trials by stating: “The evolutionist presented an argument that subverted the mousetrap and flagellum arguments. Moreover, the creationists’ claims were rejected by the courts. Even the NOVA program, Judgement Day: Intelligent Design on Trial, aired November 13, 2007 on PBS, showed the rational for teaching evolution in public schools. In other words, we evolutionist won.”

     “Since we are running up against the clock,” Wisenheirmer interrupted, “For the sake of brevity, can anyone here in clear conscience, really support the theory that this complex organism of flagellum are the results of millions of years of evolution? It looks more like an electrical generator designed by an electro-mechanical engineer to me—thus, intelligent design. Meanwhile, I must concede doctor Wishbone; since I wasn’t present to participate in this one side debate.”

     “Your concession is accepted, doc Wisenheirmer.”

     “However, before we dismiss,” Wisenheirmer continued, “I’ll cap-off by stating, ‘Let the buyer beware.’ That is, you pupils in attendance need to search your own conscience and develop your own conclusions.”

     As the students exited, one of the evolutionist gave another a high-five and said, “Chalk another one up for Professor Wishbone.”